it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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