dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize