Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
