Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
