I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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