apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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