I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
