I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
