Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
