I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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