he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
