Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
only you would photoshop your dick
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize