and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
