I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize