u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
