I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize