Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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