i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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