Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
