I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
