I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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