The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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