your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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