This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It's never too late to be topless.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
