Me too!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
