woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
