Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
