thus making me awesome and them whores
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize