you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
