these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize