Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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