I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
