Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
