The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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