I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
