Dual....:-)
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
