you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
