all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
