Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He passed out mid-signature
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
