Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Everclear isn't food dammit
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
