Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
