yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
