I'm lost and stupid without you.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
