At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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