That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
