are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
