Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
