Someone shit on the floor
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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