and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
