She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
