I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize