I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
