i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
