I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
