Do you still have your period?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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