awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
