Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
