i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
