I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
