love makes seman taste better
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
