Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
