She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
