Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
