My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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