the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize