70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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