so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
