I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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