He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
