I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize