I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
