I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
