Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My penis needs a shock collar
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
