I just threw up on my dentist
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
