How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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