I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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