the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'm at about main and main street
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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