girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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