Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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