I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize