Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My cat gives me a boner
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
